The purpose of this blog is to keep family and friends updated with the most recent news on Matthew. It will also document his biggest trial to date and serve as a reminder of how many people love and support him, and how much the Lord loves him when he has beat this terrible disease.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Live for Matthew

Matthew left us today at 11:30. We took all of the tubes out of his throat so he was comfortable, and the doctors gave him a lot of Morphine and Atavan so he didn't feel any pain. After he was unplugged from everything, it only took him about ten minutes to let go. It was so peaceful, and he wasn't alone. He had my parents right there by his head whispering loving words, and he had me and Sakeri to hold his hand. I know that he went with the knowledge that his family loves him, and I know that there were angels in that room with us to take him to his eternal home. I also know that he'll always be with us in spirit, and that he'll be with Chad in Spain helping him with his mission. Watching him pass was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I know it was probably a million times harder for my parents than it was for me. After he was gone though, I had such a feeling of peace. I know where he went, and knowing that is what gave me that warm feeling after he left. I can't even explain how that felt, but I can picture him with his Father in Heaven and all of the angels up there doing amazing things. I know he is happier than any of us can even imagine. After he left, Sakeri told me that now he can be with me constantly to torment me. Knowing Matthew, that is probably exactly what he'll be doing, and I welcome that. I also know that he'll be there when it is my parent's time, my time, Chad's and Hannah's time to bring us home.

Throughout this whole cancer experience, especially in this last week, we have been praying and praying for a miracle. I've been thinking a lot about how this miracle never came, but now I realize that Matthew was the miracle. His life was the biggest miracle I have ever witnessed. He constantly lived a righteous life, and he was so strong in his last months. It was amazing to watch him fit so much fun into the months since he was diagnosed. Even when he was really sick, he still made it to parties, volleyball games and the movie theatre. Every Sunday he was healthy enough to come to church, he would bless the Sacrament and carry out his other priesthood duties. He is our miracle.

I've also been thinking a lot about my mom today. I know this is the hardest thing she has ever had to go through, and I know it will take a long time to heal, but she got to spend really good quality time with him. She got to spend hours and hours with him ever day in the clinic during chemo therapy, she got to spend time with him when he was neutropenic, and in his last days she got to spend hours whispering her love into his ear. I know this is hard as a mother, but at least she got that. It amazes me about what an eternal perspective her and my dad are having on this as well. My dad tells me all the time that Matthew leaving us is going to make him work 100 times harder to live worthy so he can be with his son again. He knows that we will be with Matthew again, and that we will be so happy. So this is now our perspective. When Matthew first started fighting I made wristbands that said, "Fight for Matthew." That's what we always said, and wearing those bands gave us strength. Now that the fighting is over though, we need to live for Matthew. We need to live for him to honor his amazing memory and to be able to remember that families are eternal and we are sealed to him.

There will be a funeral this coming Friday for Matthew. We don't have details like place or time yet, but I will post that when it's finalized. If you decide to come to the funeral, I just ask you to wear bright colors. It's a sad time because he has left us, but we're celebrating his life, not mourning his death. As his sister, I know he would want this too.

Our family thanks everyone who has, and continues to love, support and pray for us.

Chad, be strong while you serve the Lord. We love you so much, and Matthew does too. He carried your tag with him everywhere he went, and I know he's going to tag along with you in Spain like he tagged along with you while you were home. I know you understand as well as all of us where he is now. Hold on to that. We love you.

8 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. as a student at gilbert high. matthew is amazing person. our whole school will love and miss him. he inspired us to come together as a school for one great cause. i say this for our school i am sure MANY MANY students will be in attendance at the funeral. to share in saying good bye to matthew. RIP matthew. Praying for you all during this time. Gilbert high school stands with you in this time.

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  2. So incredibly sorry for your loss. God be with you. Thank you for sharing your heart and your brother with us.
    Much love,

    DeLynne Bock
    Hamilton High School Volleyball Boosters

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  3. Peters Family, words cannot express the deep sadness we feel in our hearts for you. We prayed and fasted for a miracle right along with you, and you're right, Janelle, Matthew is the miracle, and his whole life was one of miracles! In my mind's eye I can see the joyful reunion Matthew had with the Savior this morning. The angels of heaven rejoiced with open arms to welcome him home. I'm certain the Lord wept with gladness to be reunited again with your brother and son. The Savior's warm embrace was the comfort Matthew needed right then and there; he is now free to soar to greater heights than we can even imagine. Our thoughts and prayers are still with you. May you find comfort in knowing Matthew's part in the eternal plan of our God and Father. Dallen and Carol Timothy

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  4. My heart aches for your family. I admire the strength you all have had throughout this journey. I lost my brother a few years ago - he was only 20. I am so thankful for the gospel and the peace it gives to know we will all be united again with our loved ones!!! Matthew is with you and he is busy doing Heavenly Father's work. You couldn't have said it any better - Matthew was a miracle! He was the strength and example we all should desire to be. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with your family.

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  5. We love you Peters family. You always have been and continue to be an inspiration to us all. We are thinking of you, praying for you, and know that love and peace will fill your hearts and home. Love to all of you- Dave, Amy, Andrew, Lizzy, Kate and Ethan Jensen

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  6. I'm sorry Matthew won't be around physically to continue priceless memories, but I'm glad he's moved on to a better place. I'll never forget the fun I had at your house playing ping pong wars with Matthew. I wish I could be there this Friday to support you guys. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you.
    -Megs

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  7. Jenelle, thank-you for this beautiful post.

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  8. I love you all Peters family. And I thank you for letting me care for Matthew. I am so grateful to have known such a strong, funny, handsome, brave and gentle young man. I cherish the moments I got to spend talking with Matthew and Susie while they had to spend hours and hours at the clinic. He amazed me on many occasions at his strength and resiliance through so many tough times throughout his treatment. I will cherish those memories forever, the good and the bad. And will never forget Matthew and the inspiration he provided to so many. Love Michelle

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