Loose Ends

Just a few things to finish up this blog. It's impossible to include every picture and memory, but these are a few that can't be left out.

Drawn by Briana Gaylord's sister:

Christmas gift from mom. On the frame there is a plate that says, "I will be on your right side and your left. Forever and always."

Our cousin, Kayla Porter, participated in The Great Cycle Challenge and raised over $500. They gave her the opportunity to upload a photo of someone she was riding for to a billboard in Times Square for 8 seconds. 

Drawn by one of Chad's converts from his mission

A couple of years before Matthew was diagnosed, he threw a pink magnet ball and it stuck to the AC vent. He wouldn't let anyone take it down. After he passed, we still left the magnet. We've since moved into a new house, and the magnet moved with us and still sits on a vent. It's another way we can keep his memory alive.

This tree was given to us by Diane Maloy, a ward member. It's a Crepe Myrtle, and was lovingly named and known by everyone as the T tree. It blooms beautiful white flowers, and was of course filled with frogs. 

Chad and Abby had this made for my mom one year for Christmas. From right to left: Matthew, Jenelle, Hannah, Mom, Dad, Abby, Chad, Jarrett.

Message From Mom

It’s been almost 6 ½ years since our family lost Matthew to stupid cancer.  This experience has changed our family’s life forever. Here are a few things our family has learned.  We learned that we all really love and appreciate each other and are grateful to be family even through hard times, and we’ve had some really hard times.  We learned that our family together can get through hard trials and we won’t let them beat us.  We learned that we have faith in our Heavenly Father knowing that we will never leave us alone, and that our family is eternal and that we will be with our sweet Matthew again and that he is fighting for us, because he loves us too.  We learned that there are such great amazing people in this world that loved serving our little family, and we couldn’t be more grateful.  We learned that Matthew left a huge imprint in this world and 6 ½ years later people still haven’t forgotten about him and what he taught them and never will forget him. As Chad said on his mission during all of this, “We are Peters”

As Matthew’s mom I just wanted to let everyone know that from the bottom of my heart I’m so grateful for everyone that entered our lives through the worst time in our family’s life.  It was the most painful time and yet we felt so much love through all of it.  Matthew was part of the volleyball family at his school and we never knew what that meant until he got sick.  Wow, it is the most amazing family to be a part of.  We are still a part of this great family forever because now they hold an amazing” Live for Matthew” fundraiser every year to earn money to help families like our in their worst times. How cool is that?! Our church family was amazing, and we felt so many prayers from everyone.  People always showing up with food, or some kind of service.  Our family and friends that never left us alone and still we feel their love. Nurses that have become friends.  I know that humans were designed to be happy people, and because of that our family has a lot of happy times even though Matthew is not here physically we know he is here spiritually and is still a huge part of our family, and celebrating with us when we have happy times. 

Our family continues to grow and we know Matthew is helping send down sweet spirits that are perfect for our family, and spouses perfect for our kids.  I know that Matthew has a huge hand in our lives because he wants us happy.  He is helping to guide us from the other side, he knew he would be more help there than here and he wants to make sure his family gets back to him.  I am so proud of Jenelle, Chad, and Hannah for the people they have become through this hard time of losing their brother.  They have been through a lot, some more than others but have come through it all with grace and courage.  Matthew would and I’m sure is so proud of them and I love them all so much! We of course have a lot of days that we mourn for him, and we miss him terribly and there is a hole left in our lives that will never be filled because he is not here.  But this life is short and temporary and then after this life is over we will never feel this pain again.  I know that my family will hold it all together in this life because of that amazing people that have passed through our lives, and continue to stay,  and for a loving Heavenly Father that loves us enough to have given us 17 years with the most amazing son and brother.  He didn’t even have to give us that much, so were grateful for that.  We are grateful for the plan of happiness and for our eternal family.  Thank you to everyone and we truly love you all!

Anniversary Celebration

During the week leading up to Matthew's one year anniversary, people anonymously dropped off frog stuff for my mom. T collected frog stuff, so they hold a special meaning for my family. If you come to our house today, you'll see little frogs placed throughout.

Every year on the anniversary of T's passing, our family meets at the cemetery. We write notes to him on green Mylar balloons and send them up. The first year we did this, it was actually pretty hilarious, because Hannah's refused to float upwards. It just floated up a little bit, kind of hovered for a few seconds, and then floated back down. She could not get it to fly for anything. We all joked that Matthew was holding it down, because he always gave her such a hard time.

Temple Day

I just wanted to do a short little blurb about Chad coming home and T's temple work.

Chad got back from his mission on April 3rd around 7 or 8 PM. It was awesome. We made signs and waited at the gate for him. A few family friends and neighbors were there, along with a group of his friends. He was one of the last ones through the gate. The reunion was fun! Right after the airport we went to the stake center so Chad could get released, and then we went straight to Chipotle for dinner.

We completed Matthew's temple work on April 22, 2014, which was my parent's 26th wedding anniversary. Usually the church holds onto names for a year after death, but we got his released a little early so we could complete his work on a special day. We did it as a family in the Gilbert Temple, and it was a very cool. My parents, me, and Chad were there. Dad did his initiatory work, and Chad did his endowments. It was a great experience none of us will forget. Later that day Hannah and our cousin Haylee did baptisms in the temple.

Matthew's Birthday Tradition

Matthew would be turning 24 this October.

The first birthday after T's death was hard. On October 25, 2013 he should have turned 18. My mom's friends made her a green birthday cake and took her out to lunch. Michelle, one of T's nurses from the clinic, brought over green balloons and a card. I sat and watched The Office to remember him. I think of him every time I watch that show, especially the last few episodes. Everyone did little things to remember him in their own way for his birthday.

To celebrate his birthday every year, we have a birthday party at a park and let go of floating lanterns. We used to have it at my parent's house, but after a lantern almost caught the Layton's tree on fire we moved to the park where there is plenty of wide open space. His friends and family are invited to participate, and we always have a really good turn out. Green birthday cupcakes and milk are served, and everyone talks about memories they have of Matthew. It almost serves as a reunion for us as well, because it brings everyone together. T's birthday party is the only time we get to see some of the people that attend.

Everyone is given a lantern, and we all write something special to him. We light them and let them go at the same time. This is one of my favorite traditions. It's a beautiful symbol, and it really keeps his memory alive.

A few years ago, back in 2016, we let our lanterns go per usual. That night, there was a story on the 10:00 news talking about how people had seen a UFO. Social media was exploding with people reporting UFO sightings, and the story even made the morning news. It was reported shortly after we sent T our lanterns, and in the same area. We all got a really good laugh out of it because we knew the truth behind the strange, alien ship lights everyone saw floating in the sky.

High School Graduation

A day or two before graduation, the entire school gathered in Tiger Hall, and one of Matthew's friends said a prayer for our family. Mom and Hannah went to be part of the event. At Matthew's would-be high school graduation ceremony, there was a chair with a wreath set for him. The school held a moment of silence, and he was mentioned in speeches during the baccalaureate.

T's Grave Site

Matthew's headstone was put in several months after his funeral. Before it got there, my dad prepared the area by installing an extra drip line to T's plot and laying sod from the temple. He did a great job preparing the plot, and I'm pretty sure it was the greenest square in the entire cemetery. My mom makes sure to keep decorations by his grave, and his friends even bring him flowers and other things.

The head stone looks great. It has a picture of T in the center and along the bottom says, Loving Son & Brother, Called Home to Serve. Also on the headstone is a volleyball and a temple, to symbolize the things that were important to him.



It's been so long since he's passed, you'd think I'd be used to going to the cemetery and seeing his picture on a headstone. That's something you never get used to seeing though. It might feel normal after more time passes, but I doubt it. He was just so full of life, I never considered that he could just be gone one day. Although, he's not completely gone...whenever something weird happens, like the ceiling fan randomly turning on or the TV channel switched on it's own, we always say that Matthew is here. It's a fun way for us to keep him around. I also believe that he's still nearby keeping his eye on us.